21.12.2023, London.
As of today it had been exactly 5 years since I am on the ‘stage’ of my playground.
Soon this week my classical music EP recorded at Abbey Road Studios on 22 October 2023; live with London Sessions Symphonic Orchestra, will be released on digital channels. The name of the Album is Scrivo D’amore.
I write the ‘Love’…
I have told all about this album, songs in the recording day section in this website. Here i will tell you my ‘Transcendence’ * story.
*Transcendence comes from the Latin prefix trans meaning ‘beyond’ and the word scandare, meaning ‘to climb’.
When you achieve transcendence it means that you have gone beyond your ordinary limitations… In a sense, going beyond physical needs and realities…
Beyond the self… Beyond space and time…
This is how i feel like when i sing the arias… There is no time, no space, no limitations
Giving the high C, holding on to the B flats, giving further D and a little bit of saying hello to the high E & F nowadays…. That is what i call living in true self…
In that level there is only ‘YOU’.
You become one with the ‘Universe’…
The ‘Birds’ that come to the high notes to visit me on my terrace facing the Aegean Sea, facing Chios Island while singing… In every lesson i have with my teacher we have these cute visitor birds as a choir. About those birds I will tell you in another chapter…
It took me almost 40 years to satisfy my basic human needs through self actualisation…
Music was always there for me, started singing along with playing my guitar since the age of 14…
Studied Business Administration/Management (BSC) at the University of Bilkent, Ankara Turkey.
Tried a MSC on PR & Marketing Communications at University of Stirling, Scotland but did not find it so interesting to complete; so in the half way of the masters degree i quit and returned to Turkey to start working…
After working 3 years in different companies on advertising & marketing in Istanbul, I have decided to set up my own business in the light of the emotional guidance and the financial help of my parents - here my father gave me the capital I needed and my mommy gave me the idea…
So I am a lucky girl in terms of having a beautiful mother who is also super intelligent with a natural wisdom of her own… Having a father who is a classical music fan since his teenage hood… And having my brother who is a talented guitar player, song writer with a pure heart and passion for music… He inspired me through my childhood for music…
So lets get back to the business…
In June 2004, I was the first retailer to open the first Swarovski Partner Boutique in Turkey.
I was in love with my job, business every day, every minute… I have lived with this sparkle of the crystals for 16 years… All with passion and love…
So the ‘success’ part of the life was achieved…
December 2018, Istanbul…
The feeling visited me… I have visiting feelings from time to time…
This feeling was telling me to be on the stage.. Your time had arrived to be on the stage..
I just wanted to be on the stage…
I have taken the necessary actions… as I always did, if I wanted to do something as an instinct I had always took an action immediately to achieve it… So I had set up an orchestra for and stared giving little concerts at home..
Then this feeling grew bigger and bigger…
It lead me to the need, to the desire to be able to sing with an education, with a technique so that i could use my voice in an effective way to further express my feelings.
6 January 2019.
There comes the moment…
I have met the person whom i had no idea by that time that he was going to be the ‘light’ in my life… Leading me to my true self, to my freedom through my ‘voice’He is my singing teacher, the precious Countertenor, Kaan Buldular…
Here the words are not enough to describe him.. I will talk about him in another diary separately but this is just a little intro for him, how much he means to me…
He started to educate me on opera singing since 2019 January…He found this hiding Spinto Soprano inside my soul and took it out with a real hard work and patience… Until today it had been almost 5 years with him.. Working 3 times a week for 5 years.. and i will continue learning from him until the end of my life cause this is a never ending journey what you can do with your voice as you get more trained on it through time…
3 March 2019
Farewell of my one and only precious ‘TonTon’ my grand nanny… As she was leaving this earth she had given me her hand to be reborn…She had left me with her wisdom… her endless love…She was my only source of ‘pure’ love in this universe where i could receive and give ‘unconditional’ love…
365 days after that day, I cried with a pain killing my heart every single day, missing her so badly…
Started cognitive behavioural therapies to be able to handle this grief with Duygu Kılıç whom I continue every week since then… Another miracle person in my life…
Then comes the moment in that year 2019… I give my decision to leave Istanbul, sell my business Swarovski to Austria Swarovski itself, sell my house in Istanbul and move to my summer house in Çeşme where i had grew up where I had really felt that I belong to…
I had to cover up the times that I missed… I could have seen more of those magical sunsets, moonsets, clouds and more that universe has to offer…
The grief period showed me the way to my freedom…I started to have the feeling that i needed to be more creative…
Business life in the capitalist system, I had enough of it… I set up the date of my check out from that system as of 3rd march 2020… Just after 1 year of my TonTon’s leave…
I have turned my life upside up… Had suffered so much, that was a real turning up point for me.. a total shift…
15th Feb 2020, Palladium Concert Hall London
Came to watch one of my inspiration queens in this world Madonna… On this concert, she said ‘Comfort zone is the most effective poison in this life, she asked who are brave enough to leave their comfort zones’.
At that time I smiled… with a warm heart…
Thinking only 2 weeks after that date i had the key to my freedom, out of that poisonous comfort zone to the path unknown…
I had totally believed in the universe and what it was offering me… total surrender…
21 December 2023…
On the longest night of the year I am writing this first diary for my website as a Soprano…
I am transforming… I give concerts… make albums… constantly continue on my trainings with my singing teacher… This life i have now is beyond my dreams..
Feeling of the goosebump on my body while i sing the arias… Feeling that connection with my core self. Feeling my pure spirit…
I know my TonTon also hears me up there in the stars…In each concert one candle and a scent is for her… As a gratitude for her unconditional love that keeps reminding me to holding on to ‘love’ itself through singing…
